Facing the Music and Paying the Piper

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As so many people do, I battle with my weight.  I always have.  Several years ago I lost a considerable amount of weight, body fat, inches, sizes.  Precisely, enough to make another whole person.  And then a combination of illnesses, broken bones, and prescription medicine for my auto-immune disease caused me to gain it all back…plus more.  I now weigh more than I ever have and it is creating havoc with my body and discontent in my soul. Last August, I went reluctantly back to Weight Watchers in hopes that I would get on the diet band wagon and shed the pounds.  But sometimes it is hard to re-create what you have had success in doing before.  I have not been consistent.  I have ignored all the things I need to do to get the pounds to go away.  I have lied to myself, my husband, and my friends and loved ones about how dedicated I am to this process.

So this morning I woke up and made the decision that today was the day to go back once again, hit the reset button, weigh in and take the responsibility for my actions and weight gain.  I have climbed this mountain once.  I never thought I would have to climb it again.  But here I am, at the base, looking up at the enormous task in front of me.  I can only do this one step at a time.  And I took the first one this morning.  It was hard going back to face the Weight Watcher leader.  It was hard to get on the scales.  It was hard to see the numbers on the scales.  But I did it.

And of course, before I went, I drew some cards!

cards 6-28

Today I used the Wisdom of Avalon Oracle Cards by Colette Baron-Reid.  avalon

The Raven:  “The Raven reminds you that on the path to wholeness… all things become possible.  If you feel hopeless or lost, you may need reminding …magic occurs in your daily life…. Trust it to bring joy, understanding,and fulfillment to your life no matter what the present circumstances seem to be.”

Disruption:  “This reminds you that shake-ups are necessary when you need a wake-up call.  Be reminded that the way of the God/Goddess is one of mystery and chaos which is the ultimate cleanser.  Disruption brings delays and upsets that have a hidden gift of opportunity with them.  This is the time to rethink, rebuild….. it allows you to begin anew.”

Communication:  “Communication isn’t just about talking or at something or someone.”

The message that I got is this:  I can do this!  And I will find fulfillment in starting on this weight loss journey again.  It will bring me to a better place.  I have faced the fact that I need to do this.  The wake-up call is here.  I don’t need to look at it as such a chore.  Here is another new opportunity to make myself better and start fresh.  And I need to be truthful to myself, my friends and my family.  Time to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

Is there something you need to be honest with yourself starting today?  Does it seem hopeless?  What first steo