Facing the Music and Paying the Piper

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As so many people do, I battle with my weight.  I always have.  Several years ago I lost a considerable amount of weight, body fat, inches, sizes.  Precisely, enough to make another whole person.  And then a combination of illnesses, broken bones, and prescription medicine for my auto-immune disease caused me to gain it all back…plus more.  I now weigh more than I ever have and it is creating havoc with my body and discontent in my soul. Last August, I went reluctantly back to Weight Watchers in hopes that I would get on the diet band wagon and shed the pounds.  But sometimes it is hard to re-create what you have had success in doing before.  I have not been consistent.  I have ignored all the things I need to do to get the pounds to go away.  I have lied to myself, my husband, and my friends and loved ones about how dedicated I am to this process.

So this morning I woke up and made the decision that today was the day to go back once again, hit the reset button, weigh in and take the responsibility for my actions and weight gain.  I have climbed this mountain once.  I never thought I would have to climb it again.  But here I am, at the base, looking up at the enormous task in front of me.  I can only do this one step at a time.  And I took the first one this morning.  It was hard going back to face the Weight Watcher leader.  It was hard to get on the scales.  It was hard to see the numbers on the scales.  But I did it.

And of course, before I went, I drew some cards!

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Today I used the Wisdom of Avalon Oracle Cards by Colette Baron-Reid.  avalon

The Raven:  “The Raven reminds you that on the path to wholeness… all things become possible.  If you feel hopeless or lost, you may need reminding …magic occurs in your daily life…. Trust it to bring joy, understanding,and fulfillment to your life no matter what the present circumstances seem to be.”

Disruption:  “This reminds you that shake-ups are necessary when you need a wake-up call.  Be reminded that the way of the God/Goddess is one of mystery and chaos which is the ultimate cleanser.  Disruption brings delays and upsets that have a hidden gift of opportunity with them.  This is the time to rethink, rebuild….. it allows you to begin anew.”

Communication:  “Communication isn’t just about talking or at something or someone.”

The message that I got is this:  I can do this!  And I will find fulfillment in starting on this weight loss journey again.  It will bring me to a better place.  I have faced the fact that I need to do this.  The wake-up call is here.  I don’t need to look at it as such a chore.  Here is another new opportunity to make myself better and start fresh.  And I need to be truthful to myself, my friends and my family.  Time to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

Is there something you need to be honest with yourself starting today?  Does it seem hopeless?  What first steo

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Crystals, Spirituality and a Healing Journey

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After a couple of weeks consisting of the birth of a new grandchild, spending time in another state to be with my talented 15 year old granddaughter who was leaving on a summer adventure in NYC, and coming back to work only to have a major RA flare for the past few days, I have been remiss in writing.  Today is the first day that I have 1) taken the opportunity to compose, 2) felt that I had the stamina to string two words together, 3) had a spiritual or metaphysical subject to expound upon and 4) pulled a daily draw for the record.

 

During this time of the RA flare, I have spent a considerable time lying in bed after coming home from work hurting from head to toe.  Much of that time has been spent perusing different subjects on the internet and having an almost obsessive interest in particular items on Ebay.  Several months ago, I became interested more than ever about gemstones and their metaphysical, spiritual and healing properties and purchased a few for my own personal collection and also to sell on the Etsy shop. After a few weeks with getting busy with other things, I had relegated them to the back of my mind, knowing that the subject of stones and crystals would push its way to the forefront sometime in the future. At the same time, I have started wearing 2 pencil point pendulum stones: a small clear crystal that I received as a present years ago and a larger piece of amethyst. Then last week, while I was with my granddaughter, a couple of discussions came up about the use of crystals and their uses, particularly selenite and its ability to cleanse tarot, oracle or Lenormand cards.  I had given her a few stones for her birthday back in April and she was asking to see the ones I carry with me in my bag – the selenite, two wonderful palm stones of  labradorite and astrophyllite, and an unusual piece of polished quartz.  I began to really think about the stones and their meanings and how they relate.  Which brought me to the Etsy shop –   I had not sold anything on the shop in a few weeks and so I went online to concentrate and meditate on how to generate some sales.  Lo and behold, within 24 hours there was an order for 4 of the red jasper stones I had listed and just yesterday I had a customer purchase 2 of what I call my Fairy Tree stones that come from the base of a tree that stands in the woods behind my home.  All the while, as I mentioned above, I have been looking at and bidding on some stones on Ebay, specifically ones that I am not so familiar with – nuumite, shungite, chrysocolla, and tourmaline.  Even as I write this, I am keeping an eye on a couple of auctions that I would very much like to win.

 

Along with this renewed interest in crystals and gemstones has come an awareness of spirituality.  Since I am of both Celtic and Native American descent, I feel drawn to nature and ancestors, spirit guides and the wonders of the unknown, the workings of our minds and the relationship of mind and body with the universe.  Having been raised in a Christian environment, I am striving to find a balance between that upbringing and what is spiritual rather than religious.  Can this all be combined?  What I now know are MY truths as opposed to what I was taught.  Is there any reason that I cannot take aspects of Christianity and the Celtic/Native American spirit and meld them together?  Is it a “SIN” to believe in divination?  Positive energy?  Prayer for specific things?  Manifestation of thoughts?  A tragedy in our family a decade ago set me on this journey, this search for lessons from “the Old Path” that my ancestors were embarked on long before Christianity was brought to them.  My father, as strong a Christian believer as there ever was, taught me that God was found in nature, not just in a church building.  That the timing of the seasons and the rhythm of the plants and animals were as an inherent to us as our religious church-taught beliefs. And now for the past couple of years, I have studied and struggled and grown and learned that the more I continue on this path, the more I am connected to my past, my heritage and my world than I can ever imagine.  But some things cannot be discussed among friends or family and so I remain divided between the “normal” of Christian society in my everyday dealings and the uniqueness of a more spiritual existence in my soul.  And for now, that is just fine.

 

With all that said, it brings me to writing about consciously doing my daily draws and readings of either Oracle or Lenormand cards or a combo of both.  I think in doing this exercise daily, it brings a greater awareness of what is happening in my life each day, a better perspective of what to expect (or not) and a way to contemplate those things at days ends.  To further that end, I have ordered a tarot/oracle card journal to record and keep track of each day’s readings and interpretations for a whole year!  And in that order there is another Celtic meditation book (which I will discuss once I get my hands on it) and a new oracle card deck that I have had my eye on for several months.

 

All this brings me to today’s daily draw.  I really should not have been surprised, even though Spirit never ceases to amaze me.  I used the Earth Magic Oracle Cards by Steven B. Farmer for today’s reading.  This set is fairly new to me and I love it!  The illustrations are to die for and the cards meanings are well done.  It is one of those decks that has responded well to me and I get good readings from.  Here are the cards I randomly pulled for today:

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Card number 1:  Crystal: Focus

Card number 2: Spring Equinox: Rebirth

Card number 3: Shaman:  Ancient Healing Wisdom  look how the glare from the lights makes it look like the shaman is speaking magically to me!

All three cards speak directly to what is going on in my life today and the past week.  Each card is so self-explanatory that I won’t go into the card meanings in the guidebook.  To do so would just be redundant.  It just couldn’t get any better than this.

 

Do you draw cards and read for yourself?  If so, what decks do you find speak to you the most?  If not, have you ever thought about trying to?  Let me know what you think!